indulgence
by guitargenocide
Summary: Hiccup has always hidden kept the pain of the past bottled up. what if the barrier to the concealed emotions breaks one night. what if he cant hold it any longer.


**A/N: hey everyone these keep coming to me in the middle of the night. So I decide to write my stories before they come back to haunt me. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS**

Hiccups point of view

Its hard to love your life when you are known as the mistake of the clan. For young hiccup, everyday he was treated like a mistake. Many wonder why he would live the rest of his days with such a happy smile. They think they have been forgiven and forgotten.

Every day he would spend time with his best friend turned brother Toothless. His bond with toothless had turned from best friend to brother, not by blood but by bond. Though even though he knew toothless would always be there to protect and help him, He would never open up about many of his feelings. About how hard it is to be a hiccup.

Today hiccup wakes up with a cold sweat, tears welling into his eyes of the times everyone in the village would find him as nothing but a mistake. The child that causes bad luck across the village. The time where his father had practically disowned him for bonding and becoming friends with a dragon.

He looked to the side and saw his brother staring at him with worry in his eyes. He knew his scaled best friend was worried but, he had to handle this problem with pride and, as he has done before, try to hold it in.

Hiccup smiled at his friend assuring him that he was okay. "I'm okay Toothless." hiccup said. "it was just a bad dream. I'm going to go for a walk, if you want you can come." hiccup said.

Toothless looked at him and got off his resting place and went by his side. Hiccup laughed lightly knew that wherever he would go toothless was always with him. So up he was and off he went, he knew where he was going. The exact place that bonded him with his scaled brother.

Astrid's point of view

Astrid could not sleep this night for weeks now the image of hiccups unconscious body in the legs of Toothless scarred her mind. When he had given her the 'freedom ride' as she called it. The night where she got to touch the clouds. She had started to fall for him because on that day she saw Hiccup. The real Hiccup, and she vowed that she would work had to make sure she saw that true smile she had seen. The smile of actual happiness, and yet when she protected him she cant forget the fact that she was one of those who had made his life miserable. When she saw his half dead body with the amputated leg she thought she would never see hiccup smile again. She thought hiccup had just lost everything with the loss of that leg. Well now that she thought of it without hiccup she would not have Stormfly now. She was broken out of her thoughts as she heard a growl outside of her window so she decided to investigate.

She looked out the window and saw Hiccup walking side by side with Toothless. She also saw hiccup with a face she had never seen before. A face of pure sorrow, on that should not be on hiccup, so she decided to follow him.

Hiccup, no matter how long it was, would never forget the path to the small little canyon he and toothless bonded. Hiccup sat near the water leaning on a small boulder. He was looking at the scenery remembering his great times with toothless. The saddle the time he tried out the first made tail fin he had made for toothless.

Toothless, his dragon, his best friend, his brother trusted him and had faith in him. Just as hiccup had faith in toothless. The days they spent there were the best moments of his life. Including the first time he flew. It was the first time he was able to actually smile. He put everything he had conjured within his mind, to see toothless fly again. To him it has the only way to make up for taking his tail.

He then remembered the way the village had treated him. The way the training students had made fun of him. The way Astrid had verbally attacked him about her ideals of the dragons being in war with the village. After thinking of that he had started to let the tears flow from his eyes. Everything he had kept bottled up for his long life had finally come back, and he couldn't hold it anymore. He let the tears flow as he thought of all the suffering he had endured. He had promised not to cry anymore, not since his mom died, but on this night he could not hold it in anymore. The years of pain suffering, and downright mental abuse had started taking its toll on him.

While the tears were flowing he turned to see Astrid standing there. He saw her standing there so wiping the tears away he tried to sound neutral as he said, "hey Astrid what are you doing out here? Its pretty late you should go inside." she stood there looking at him watching as his face betrayed him. His tears clearly coming out of his eyes. Astrid was heart broken, hiccup never cried even after she had told him off that day they were training to kill dragons.

"hiccup…. Why do you do that?" she asked. "Do what?" hiccup asked back trying to hide the crack in his voice." hiccup why do you hide your pain? I see it on your face hiccup. Stop trying to hide it and open up. Let me help you hiccup…the tears, the sadness, the crying it just isn't you hiccup." she said as grabbed him and hugged him letting out a few tears of her own. Hiccup couldn't take it anymore.

"Astrid. What do you think its like, living everyday of your life with everyone watching you. Everyday everyone thinks your nothing but a screw up. I'm suffering Astrid, for all those years when the Vikings were fighting dragons I had nothing but a lost dream fighting with you guys. Everyday I would be treated as nothing but a mistake, a screw up, and worst of all a joke." he paused as took a deep breath letting a small sob come out. He looked at her in the eye. "All this time, I have had nothing since my mom died. Only a father who looks at me and expects something I can't be."

She looked into the eyes of Hiccup and saw he was showing her his true self. All the pain in his eyes, all the pain from all those years, and she remembered that there was never anybody to help him. She had started to curse everyone in the village, especially Stoic. She remembered how the chief himself would always look at hiccup and picture a mistake instead of his own son. She also cursed herself, because even though the village didn't notice a suffering crying boy, she had seen it and she did nothing to help him. She let Snotlout pull everything from that Viking skull of his to impress her while making fun of hiccup. Even after all of that she did nothing but ignore it.

" you know its ironic." Hiccup spoke with a laugh. " that Toothless was the only thing I had. He was the only friend I had in this village. he even shared a fish with me by regurgitating the body and letting me eat it, and although it was not pleasant he was my friend." hiccup smiled at her, a true smile that is still almost rarely seen. "after I lost my leg I felt more bonded with Toothless. Me and him were almost one whole person. I help him and he helps me. No matter what happened after that, he became my brother. A family that I had so craved from my father, Toothless gives me the attention that I had wanted. The happiness, the fun, it all came after I lost my leg and I had Toothless become my brother. He's almost all I have right now." he finished.

" hiccup." she said as she hugged him and started whispering. "I'm sorry for everything."

He hugged her back and whispered. " its okay, and thanks for being here for me."

They stood there holding each other for five minutes until Astrid pulled away and kissed him full on the lips. After all this she needed to kiss him again, she didn't care if the dragon was watching. She just had to show him what he meant to her. Hiccup was only slightly surprised for this kiss. He remembered Astrid would usually do this after some shenanigans. But what really surprised him was that this was a lot longer than those other times. Yet who was he to complain so he kissed her back.

They stayed like that for what felt like a long time. After pulling apart Astrid hugged him and whispered. " I love you hiccup."

" I love you too Astrid." he said. "lets go we need our rest." said hiccup as he, Astrid and toothless left. Hiccup then realized that, after everything that happened, as long as he has Astrid and Toothless by his side. What did it matter if the past hurt, because he now sees that he can look forward to a better tomorrow


End file.
